Funny...

I was reading about pride and humility today in preparing for my sermon and came across this little story that may or may not make it in but is certainly funny!

A young woman asked for an appointment with her pastor to talk with him about a besetting sin about which she was worried. When she saw him, she said, "Pastor, I have become aware of a sin in my life which I cannot control. Every time I am at church I begin to look around at the other women, and I realize that I am the prettiest one in the whole congregation. None of the others can compare with my beauty. What can I do about this sin?"

The pastor replied, "Mary, that's not a sin, why that's just a mistake!"

Exercise Comic

As I was putting together the booklet I've been working on for the next Training Session at church I came across this comic, which I ended up putting on the title page. It works.

Classified Humour

These are real Ads:

For Sale: Bulldog. Will eat anything. Loves children.

Thanks to two special people who picked my wife up after a fall from her bike and broke her pelvis and severely damaged her back and many other parts of her body. Jim and Betty Kelleher - there are not enough words to express gratitude and heartfelt thanks for you and what you did for my wonderful wife.

Extremely Indepedent Male. 17 years old, needs to rent room. Call his mother at...

Have Family, would like to exchange for home in Amsterdam.


Or how about this actual transcript of a court proceeding:

Lawyer: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

Opposing Lawyer: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

#1. Departure time for church has arrived but your wife has not.

She is still moving about the house checking the appliances. While waiting in the car you decide to:

A. Return to the house and say, "I'm sorry you're behind because I was late bringing you breakfast in bed. Is there anything I can do?
B. Leave without her.
C. Return to the house and start World War III.
D. Resist the urge to honk, and instead read your Bible.

#2. After 13 agonizing years, you have finally reached the Annual Mixed Slow Pitch Church Softball Final. The rules require a minimum of two women to be on the field at all times. Five have shown up. You, the captain , decide to:

A. Sit on the bench, realizing that there are far more important things than baseball, that this could be a character building event for all, and that each person should be treated as an equal regardless of petty things like gender.
B. Hide their gloves.
C. Put three women on the bench, the fourth at catcher, and the fifth at second base where three guys can rescue her should something awful occur (such as a ball being hit in her direction).
D. Volunteer to sit on the bench and hope like crazy that one of the women says something.

#3. Your son Billy just hit a three-run homer to win the Little League Championship. This is remarkable considering that you don't even have a son named Billy. But if you did, and he hit the game winner, you would:

A. Faint.
B. Console opposing team parents by patting their backs and saying, "Hey, second place isn't all that bad."
C. Congratulate the umpire on finally calling a good game.
D. Run onto the field screaming, "That's my kid! That's my kid!"

(from Phil Callaway, The Total Christian Guy, 1996)